Category: 
Oh internet, is there nothing you can’t do? You bring me funny cat pictures and restaurant recommendations, allow me to download old Kelly Hogan albums, and now you offer me the opportunity to get schooled by Calpernia Addams, who is apparently on the tv machine!
No, seriously, you need this. If you haven’t been around trans folks it will keep you from putting your foot in your mouth, and if you are around them and already know how to behave, it will prepare you for the inevitable day when someone who you thought knew better asks one of these questions and you have to give them the smackdown educate them as to what constitutes an appropriate topic of conversation. I could say more, but I feel that Ms. Addams has all the bases covered. Except for that one about drinking. I’d like for her to get back to me on that one.
FYI, the “real name” question goes for everyone else, too. When I say “Hello, my name is Smartyboots”, that’s because that’s my name. It’s what everyone calls me, and that’s what you’re gonna call me too. Unless you’re behind the desk at the DMV, don’t ask for my “real” name, and I won’t ask you which barn you were born in.
Now that I think of it, you’re probably safe never asking any of these bad questions of anyone who you don’t know, or who hasn’t given you express permission. You wouldn’t think it would need to be stated, but it’s never appropriate to ask a stranger about the contents of their pants, or even their cullottes (feel free to ask them why they’re wearing cullottes, though. I’d like to know.). It doesn’t take Miss Manners to figure that one out. And this is a pet peeve of mine - one may not use the pronouns associated with a person’s previous gender just because you know they are a trans person - do you want people to talk baby talk to you because they know you were once an infant? I didn’t think so. Of course, you’re reading this fine blog publication, so you probably won’t do these things, but don’t let your friends do them either, m’kay? Also don’t let them wear cullottes - don’t ask me how I know, I just know.
Recently:
Comments
This entry was posted on Monday, March 24th, 2008 at 5:22 pm and is filed under video clips, smartyboots, pop culture, Trans Sexuality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Thank you for posting me! And I just want everyone to know, I’m much more compassionate in real life. This is a humor video, but it does definitely say some things I’ve always wanted to say.
And yes, I know… I should have edited the front part down to be shorter!
Calpernia! Great video. I see so much of the frustration with insensitive morons as being universal — most of us experience offending questions or assumptions at some point whether it’s about gender, sex, sexual orientation, race, etc…
Where does that inquiry come from? Perhaps a lack of education and a desire to relate to someone who might validate that they’re not ignorant?
“I’m not transphobic/homophobic/racist because I have a friend/co-worker/lover who is _______.”
Your list reminded me of Julia Serano’s “Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity”.
If any one is interested in diving into some of the issues of validation, passing, and other points Calpernia talked about, check out Julia’s book — it can redefine the way you think (or explain to others) about gender.
Thanks for posting this, smartyboots. : )
Oh yeah, and there’s also FTM Resource Guide, kind of the male counterpart of TSRoadmap.