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San Francisco has always seemed an otherworldy place to me. Some mythic fairyland (no pun intended), steeped in mist and tradition, with a history that so vastly differs from my part of the country as it might as well take a rocket ship or a magic spell to get there.Now, mind you, the fact that I have never had the opportunity to vist there only adds to the etheral quality to it in my mind. Truth be told, the only reason that I am sure that San Francisco even exists outside of my own imagination is the fact that, unlike my other internal dreamworlds, has flights other than the “of fancy” variety available to it.
In surfing around the various nooks and crannies of the GV website, I have come to the conclusion that the information here is probably a pretty good cultural climatic barometer of the area. Its features, links, musings and other sundry bits of stuff cover such a wide variety of topics as to generate something of a feel for the Bay Area Bubble, as one of my commenters described it. And the feel that is created is a far cry the feel from my pseudo-midwestern corner of the world.
Nowhere on the GV site has made me more acutely aware of this fact than the Good Vibrations Sex and Gender Policy .Now if there are people who have not read that that are reading this now, you should. Now. And then come back here and finish reading this.I’ll wait…..
Now, in my neck of the woods, there are, in general, two genders: Male and Female. Now, while there are obviously exceptions to this rule, where there are people who identify with neither and refer to themselves as operating along a “gender continuum”, the population of differently-gendered individuals is so small as to fail to even register on the radar. This is not to say that the differently-gendered are a culture shock to me, but it would be a bit of one here.
In the Western Half of the world, there are a lot more options to choose from.
The question that pops immediately to mind is “Is this a good thing?”
Allow me to elaborate.
The equality of the genders (or, more correctly, the lack thereof) has been one of the most contentious subjects throughout the entire course of history. Granted, women have historically speaking, been the ones to get the short end of the stick in this regard, and while many societies have taken steps to bring men and women into balance in terms of equal treatment and social regard, statistics still indicate there is a long, LONG, way to go: Even in the 21st century the salary gap persists, and the boys club mentality of some elements of big business create glass ceilings that still limit career opportunities for women to this day. On the other side of this coin, however, is the fact that men, while they may not suffer the same sort of victimization inherent to the perception that there is a “superior gender”, males have their own crosses to bear. The pressure to live up to the provider stigma that creates a society-generated definition of success generates problems of its own.
And so the idea of society-driven definition of self-identity once again rears its less than handsom head. And, from my experience, little good comes from it. Gender inequality is yet another example.
Which brings me back to the original thought: if the fracturing the human camp into TWO genders creates as many difficulties as it seems, how many more difficulties are created by fracturing it into MANY genders?
I would do the math , but I am a just a girl, and society tells me that I am no good at math…
Kidding.
Now, before I get myself in trouble with my new west coast co-workers, let me state clearly and for the record that I am in no way dismissive of the concept of being differently gendered. I am only posing the question does having a greater variety of genders to label onself SOLVE the problem?
Not really, because by my way of thinking, choice is not the problem. Labelling is.
Now, granted I do understand that labelling is a useful thing. It is how we distinguish one thing from another. After all, if I want someone to get someone’s attention from across a crowded room, having some sort of designation to address them by spares all involved time and confusion. At the same time, however, it is one thing to use a label as a discription. It is quite another to use it as that which an identity is built on.
And I suppose that that is what lies at the heart of the issue with me. I find the world of labels gregarious and complex. I don’t like having white friends and black friends and gay friends and bisexual friends and transgendered friends. I like the uncomplicated elegance of simply having friends. None of the labels that identify them seem big enough to encompass the full scope of their essential humanity. Their labels speak nothing of them.
No matter how many more choices of labels there are to stick on them.
Or to hide behind like San Francisco on a foggy morning. Pretty to look at maybe, in its ethereal and dreamlike lovliness, but at the end of the day, its an illusion that masks the true beauty of that which lies behind it.
And all labels aside, that is what I long to see.
I am fairly certain that a trip to the Bay Area is in my not too distant future. At least, I am hopeful that it is in my not too distant future. I am also hopeful that, when the time comes, all my new friends, traditionally-gendered or otherwise, will excuse any pronoun faux pas I am certain to make. Please understand that no slight will be intended, its just I find myself more easily endeared to who you are all moreso than what you are called.
Hopefully you feel the same.
Harlequinn,
Indifferently Gendered
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This entry was posted on Sunday, November 18th, 2007 at 10:56 pm and is filed under Harlequinn, Miscellaneous. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
One thing’s for sure about the strange system of labeling, is that it creates new labels. For example, what do you you call female ejaculation when it comes from the body of a trans man? In the queer film In Search of a Wild Kingdom, we left off the squirting icon despite the fact that there is some pretty heavy jiz scenes (part of which won the film Best Trans Sex Scene 2007!). In this situation, the want for a better way of showing, describing, and carrying the lovely diversity of sex leaves something to be desired…
What would YOU call Trans Man Ejaculation? Is it the same?
There are at least a few reasons that a multi-gendered perspective is important. It makes more room for the gender diversity that already exists in the world. It gives people labels that they can choose themselves, which is a vastly different experience than having a label forced on you. It offers the possibility that the boxes of “male” or “female” need not be so rigid, which is helpful to everyone regardless of gender. And being able to be out of the closet with respect to gender makes it easier to live authentically and honestly.
I fully agree that no label can contain the full story of any human being. But that doesn’t mean that we need to limit ourselves to two categories. That’s where we end up forcing ourselves into boxes. Using words that reflect the range of the human experience is much more liberating.
The overall point is that in the end what something or someone is called is a facilitator for communication, true, however if people get too attached to the lables, they, from my experience, tend to forget that there is something that lies beneath.
Labels by nature create an expectation of some sort. If I go to the store and buy a can of Chicken Noodle soup, there is an expectation that when I open the can, golden noodley goodness will issue forth. And, I will be somewhat disappointed if not slightly miffed should that can issue forth tomatoey goodness.
I don’t think a binary gender identification system is the way to go. I don’t think a binary system of any sort is the way to go. As Tom Robbins said, “There are two kinds of people in this world: people who think there are two kinds of people in this world, and the rest of us that know better.” A bit paradoxical when you think about it. As such, I pose the question: does more than two labels resolve the paradoxes associated with a binary system, or does it increase the number of paradoxes?
The answer, for me, to my own question, is that it is largely an irrelevant one. Labels aren’t what give people meaning, people are what give lables meaning. That being so, it seems to me that the labels are unnecessary to embracing the person behind them.
Here, here! *raising my glass to toast*
I LOVE the Tom Robbin’s quote. Love.
Wow… I love this debate. Can I put something out there, Kuono, about the female ejaculation thing? What if we just refered to it as g-spot ejaculation instead of female ejaculation? It doesn’t really make sense to label something as gendered if it has more to to with a specific body part than one’s gender. For example, prostate stimulation is just that, for men or transwomen. We don’t call it “male stimulation” so we don’t grapple with the same issues of gender. Let me put this out there, though: Why are we always applying gender labels to things associated with women and not so much vice versa? NWBA vs. NBA; feminine hygeine products; woman’s sex shop; etc.
“before I get myself in trouble with my new west coast co-workers”
There is an east coast store as well….
Harlequinn, and anyone else who is interested, this is a lengthy but super-informative post over at feministe about some of these exact issues…
http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2007/11/28/what-trans-means-to-me/#more-6290