So August is quickly coming to a close, and seeing as it is the wonderful month of Anal Pleasure I thought I should make sure to continue my spots post with an entry about the P-Spot or Spots. In reading and talking to people I find that the term P-Spot can be used to describe a number of erogenous zones on both male and female bodies.

Most commonly this letter corresponds to the prostate, a male bodied sexual organ which is responsible for most of the fluid that makes up male ejaculate, or semen. While the prostate plays a very specific role in sexual reproduction, its less-often identified role in sexual pleasure is hugely important and widely appreciated by many people. The prostate has recently reemerged onto the bedroom scene as the male G-Spot and can open the door to a wealth of eroticism for people who are interested in exploring. Adding P-Spot play to your repertoire of sexual games can enhance orgasm, improve sexual potency and control, and maintain your physical health.

The other areas that the letter P can correspond to are the perineum, the smooth area of skin between the anus and the scrotum or vagina, as well as the perineal sponge, a gathering of erectile tissue between the rectum and the vagina. On male bodies the perineum is home to a tiny spot which when pressed into can give access to the prostate and is the one way to stimulate that spot externally. The perineal sponge is very similar to the urethral sponge, or G-Spot, and swells upon arousal with erotic potential. This is one area that when stimulated can greatly add to the penetrative experience for female-bodied folks both vaginally and anally.

Knowing what parts of the body these letters stand for is one thing, knowing how to touch them is a whole new subject. The most important rule of any kind of anal play is to ask first. Many people are very uncomfortable with the idea of their butts being erotic zones for a number of reasons. In this culture we are raised to believe our butts serve just one purpose, pooping, and therefore are always dirty. We’re also taught that anal sex is for gay dudes only, so engaging in it must say something about our sexual orientation. Even if we’ve got past those two roadblocks, there is still the belief that anal sex hurts, which understandably would deter folks from indulging in the activity. None of these things need be true if you talk with your partners about it first and take the time to learn a little about the ins and outs of anal play, and that’s where I come in with some tips and resources.

The following is a collection of tips on how to touch these different spots safely, comfortably, and for maximum pleasure. For more in depth reading I suggest reading a book, The Ultimate Guide series has an edition for both men and women on anal sex. Watching a movie can be helpful too and a little more fun. Nina Hartley’s Guide to Anal Sex or Tristan Taramino’s Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, which just so happens to star Nina as well, are both fun videos to watch alone or with a playmate. Okay, okay, enough chatting already, get to the goods.

Tip 1: Clean up.

Inserting a soapy finger up your bum while you shower can clean quite sufficiently for mild ass play. This is also a good way to relax your butt and get used to the sensations you’ll soon be exploring more thoroughly. Anal douching, otherwise known rinsing out or using an enema, might be useful if you plan on engaging in deeper ass play with fingers, hands, toys, or a penis. Anal douching is different than what most people think of when talking about vaginal douching, and doesn’t involve chemicals or detergents. A simple ear syringe (make sure to lubricate the tip and you butt before inserting) and some luke warm water can do just fine. Seeing as feces doesn’t sit in the rectum all day long, but actually accumulates in the colon and stays put until we have the urge to release it, the rectum is usually fairly clean. A soapy finger or simple douche will clean any remaining bits of feces out and make you squeaky clean enough for fingers, a tongue, or an average plug.

Be aware too, engaging in safe anal sex, i.e. using dental dams, finger cots, gloves, and condoms, lessens the wariness of coming into contact with feces and can make the experience much more comfortable for all partners. For maximum pleasure with a barrier, lubricate both sides of the barrier.

Tip 2: Start slowly.

This tip goes along with the “talk to your partner first” rule. Anal play is not something to just jump headfirst into. It won’t be fun that way. It takes time for us to get comfortable with anal play both mentally and physically. We have to undo all those taboos we were taught growing up. What are the things that keep you from wanting to play with your ass or someone else’s? Our butts are dirty: well then clean it. Butt sex is gay: no, people are gay… or they’re not; the activities we engage in with each other don’t dictate who we love. But taking it up the ass hurts: then don’t do that yet. We’re doing things that feel good remember?

The anus consists of two very strong sphincter muscles and happens to be a place where we hold much of the tension in our bodies. So we have to take the time to relax those muscles and release that tension before we can expect any real pleasure to come from butt play. Start by massaging your partners butt cheeks, they’ll adore you. We sit on those things all day long, they deserve the attention. Run a vibrator lightly around your partner’s anus- and you thought vibrators were only for girls! Lick the perineum and anus during oral sex, a soft wet tongue feels soothing and sexy. Or press against your partner’s anus with a slippery, well-manicured finger; maybe even dip it in a bit, or a bit more. Your partner will tell you with either with words or rhythms what’s working.

Tip 3: Lubricate.

Unfortunately our butts don’t lubricate themselves enough to create a comfortably friction-free experience. So always lube up. Silicone or thick, water-based, gel lubricants are the kinds you should consider. There’s always the black-bottled Pjur Eros, which consistently stars in movies with heavy ass play. Our own brand of gel lubricant, Please Gel, has incredible staying power, and even my absolute favorite, Slippery Stuff Gel, is great for milder anal games and its lack of flavor makes it a great rimming, or analingus, companion.

There are many appropriate brands of lube out there for anal play; there are also some lubes out there which I would strongly encourage folks to abstain from. Desensitizing creams, though seemingly an easy cure for discomfort during anal sex, are dangerous. Remember what I mentioned earlier about things feeling good? Anal sex isn’t supposed to hurt and if the activities you’re engaging in are painful or uncomfortable that is a sign you shouldn’t be doing them yet, or at all. By applying desensitizing lube to your anus you are disengaging your body’s own protection mechanisms and could be setting yourself up to get seriously hurt. That’s not fun for anyone.

Tip 4: Remember the G-Spot.

The prostate and perineal sponge respond to touch very similarly to the G-Spot. That’s why many toys marketed towards women for G-Spot stimulation double greatly for P-Spot stimulation. With your fingers, you can tug, press, tap, or run against the prostate or the perineal sponge much like you would do for the G-Spot. The prostate in particular responds very well to angled toys like the Night Rider and the Meteor Plugs. Toys with a hook shaped tip like the Pandora Plug and the G-Swirl Vibe are also quite popular for P-Spot stimulation. And in you feel like investing a bit more into your equipment, the wooden Tryst and steel New Wave have an “s” curve I previously prescribed for G-Spot stimulation that will work similarly against the prostate.

Remember also that for female bodied folks, the perineal sponge can be stimulated vaginally as well as anally. Might I suggest turning some of those tried and true G-Spot toys around and pressing them into the floor, or posterior wall, of the vagina? I’ve heard from folks who were convinced they’re G-Spot was located on the other side of their vagina because they found it so pleasurable to have their perineal sponge touched. My own little recipe here? Try turning the Angelina around during your next muff dive so that the thumb loop rubs against the perineum and the G-Spot bulb presses into the perineal sponge. This will also give your tongue access to the clit and labia. See how your partner likes that.

Tip 5: Go ahead, try a prostate massager.

Yeah I know they seem a bit pricy for a bit of plastic, but it’s the form and design you’re paying for. Years of research have gone into the development of these toys and they prove it. The Aneros series, Romp from Nob Essence, and the Nexus line are all prostate massagers designed to be used hands free, enlisting the natural pulsations of your sphincter muscles to cause the toys to rock back and forth against the prostate and perineum. Romp from Nob Essence is uniquely sculpted so that comfortable, extended wearing is possible, meaning you’ll be enjoying an even longer pleasure experience.

And female bodied folks, don’t feel left out… These “prostate” massagers are more than capable of giving us pleasure as well. Because the wall between the vagina and the anus is so thin, these prostate “curves” can easily reach the G-Spot when worn anally as long as nothing is inserted into the vagina. The tab designed to rock against the perineum actually dips quite teasingly into the vagina. These toys can be as great a companion to cunnilingus as to fellatio, so enjoy!

Well, I think I have covered enough about the P-Spots, today. I hope some of this info comes in handy. Expect one more spot blog coming up soon; I’ll be introducing some of you to the A-Spot and the U-Spot. In the mean time put some of those new ideas and toys to use, be safe, and enjoy the remaining days of Anal Pleasure Month. Remember all anal toys and lubes are 15% off through August, so now’s the perfect time to try something new…

Take care and love your bum!

*Red*

P.S. If you haven’t already, please check out the previous and following posts in this trilogy- I’m Seeing Spots and The Final Spots.

Recently:

Do You Take It (in the ass?)
I’m Seeing Spots
The Final Spots