In case you were wondering what a horse penis looks like, this is as close as I’ll give you. However, if you were looking for a dildo that looks like a horse penis, I found you this lovely site: Zoofur.com.

Zoofur sells dildos shaped like animal penises. They don’t use real animals to make the molds, but instead work off pictures of creatures and their cocks. I feel like they should have a banner on the bottom of the website that says “No animals were masturbated in the making of this site.”

Zoofur has become an interesting topic of conversation in my store. For some, the thought of buying a dildo shaped like a fox’s dick, or canine’s member, or even a gator’s poker, is just not right. They use words like “gross” and faces like “ohmygody really?!”, and admit that the website stretches the limits of their own sex positivity. I understand all of that; the site is definitely not your standard “big dick made out of rubber” online store. And yet one of the coolest things about being sex positive is that you don’t have to really “get” (or want to participate in) every single sex act/fetish/boner-making thing that’s out there. You just gotta respect people and their choices.

I had to remind some coworkers of this facet of sex positivity when we were perusing Zoofur.com. Because even though there are some people who think the whole thing is “just wierd”, there are others (myself shamelessly included) who think these pieces of art are oddly erotic, if not downright hot.

Yup.

My favorite was the tentacle. Hot hot hot. Why? Why not. A while back we carried an anime rental that had a picture of a woman being fucked by a giant squid. Can you imagine having all those arms, for all those holes? You could hold your boyfriend down and put something in his ass and in his mouth and jerk him off at the same time. And maybe choke him a little. It just makes sense.
Why not get creative with your dildos? Why not really fuck someone like an animal? Using a canine-cock inspired dildo doesn’t mean are into bestiality. Sex does not have to mimic real life. We (as a culture) have pretty much come to accept this truth when it comes to more acceptable avenues. Example: you love it when your wife dresses up like a french maid or school girl. Does that mean you consider cheating on her with the maid? Or even worse, does the school girl outfit make you a closet pedophile?

Does using a human-penis looking dildo mean you really want to be a man?
No.

(Well, not always. Sometimes I just wish I had a big dick, that’s all.)
The point here is that the shape of the dildo doesn’t make the worth of the sex (or the quality of the people doing the sexing).

See my logic? Yes. Good.

hoping some lovely reader will send me the tentacle,

jameson.

Recently:

Iran’s new legislation wants porn stars dead
shake your pom pom.
India says safe sex is ok, as long as its not also fun