When your kid finds your sex toys
By Wildchyld • Apr 1st, 2007 • Category: sex tipsThere comes a time in every sex toy loving parent’s life where you have to decide what your beliefs are about kids and sex toys. I didn’t think that mine would be thrust upon me suddenly last weekend! Over the years I’ve given classes to older kids and teenagers as well as taught a few where women had babies in their arms. For me those boundaries seemed easy. Babies don’t know what the heck I’m talking about and my teenage sex talks are always age appropriate but when I had to deal with kids in the middle, I found that even I was confused about what to do.
I was teaching a class to a group of mothers, demonstrating sex toys when suddenly a small child ran across the room and launched herself into the bathroom. She couldn’t have been more than six or seven but definitely took note of the strange objects I had laid out on the table near the door she ran through. When she was done peeing, her mother quickly scooped her up, covered her eyes and brought her back into the other room. Suddenly, as if by magic, every child in that room had to pee. One by one, parents with children in arms, eyes covered, walked past me, holding the door closed behind their kid like somehow the view of a vibrator might scar them for life.
The experience left me perplexed. On the one hand, I did feel horribly weirded out by the kids running through the room, but on the other hand, I also know first hand that making something off limits to kids is easiest way to attract them. Part of me felt like Santa Claus on Xmas eve hiding toys underneath my soft purple throw that I was using for display while the other part saw myself as that weirdo neighbor who gives apples for Xmas that you’re SURE must be laced with drugs or razor blades.
My mixed feelings left me to think hard about what my views are about kids and sex toys. In a way, I think that hiding the Hitachi sends a much worse message than just leaving it out, but what about things that are clearly used for sexual pleasure?
I began thinking back to being 9 and finding my dads penthouse magazines, my mother’s nude photos hidden in a bowl at the top of a cabinet next to a glass pipe with remnants of pot from the 60’s still stuck to the sides. I thought about the edible body paints on their nightstand. Would I have felt differently about them if they were out in the open? Did I wish that those body paints had been stashed away with the porn?
I think that I want my sex toys to remain intimate, like love letters and fantasies. Things that I’m not ashamed of, but want to keep as special items for myself. A bottle of lube and a vibrating toy here or there never killed anyone but then again, there was something about finding Dad’s secret stash of porn that made it way more fun to find, why take that away from my kid!
Wildchyld is a cake eater.
Wildchyld is an activist, adult performer, web geek, and graduate student studying couples therapy. She hopes to change the world one orgasm at a time.
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I cannot express enough how much I loved the book Sexy Mamas, it’s about keeping your sex life alive while raising kids. I *highly* recommend it to parents with children. relationships change after a child comes into play, you really have to put effort into keeping it alive! While I was at it I bought some lube too
hehee. Try Love Me Naturally at http://www.LoveMeNaturally.com - it’s been a blessing!