are YOU a good lover?
By jameson • Mar 16th, 2007 • Category: BlogOkay, so I’m on my lunch break, checkin’ out my Google homepage for the latest news (about sex, gay people, and reproductive rights), and I see “Are You Good in Bed?”. Being the quiz fan that I am, I click on the link.
This is what happened, not even five minutes ago:
Question 1:Your partner’s going through a rough time and isn’t interested in sex. You: blah blah blah
(multiple choice). I chose D: Masturbate, but also give him lots of nonsexual massages and TLC. (Who knows? You might get lucky!) Granted, I don’t have a boyfriend, but being a gay for quite a while, I’m used to changing pronouns in games like this.
Question 2: The wildest thing you’ve ever done was:
This is as far as I got in this quiz. Guess what their choices were. Go ahead, you wild sexcrazed maniacs, you.
Done thinking? Did you guess indulging in some sort of anal play, having sex outdoors, having sex more than six times in one weekend, or spanking or being spanked by your partner? Did you guess those? Because those were the options. The only options.
Do I need to explain why this is where I stopped? Yes, I do. Because how are these things graded? And what do they have to do with being a good lover? Are you a better lover if you’ve “indulged” in anal play, or if you have had sex outdoors? What about if you had anal sex outdoors? Or if you got spanked while being anally fisted outdoors? Perverts! You don’t even get a place in this quiz! Yes, I understand that quizzes can’t possibly include everyone (sorry anal fisters and fistees) but come on, those are the only choices? For wild sex? Seriously?
(still taking the quiz, which is apparently the “racy version”)
Question 8: How often do you initiate sex. All the time isn’t an option. Um, um…?
The whole quiz was only ten questions long, and at the end, I found out that I’m a:
Sexpert Extraordinaire!
Go on, gloat — you deserve it! Game to try anything once, gregarious and confident in bed, you’ve not only got few inhibitions and a high sex drive, but you’re as sensitive to your lover’s needs as you are to your own (and more than capable of satisfying both).
Suprise. If only this quiz measured what mattered, like “How would you react if your partner shared a fantasy you thought was immoral or degrading?” or “Are you honest with your partner about what turns you on?” or “How often do you tell your partner what you want while you’re having sex?”
Good lovers know their bodies and desires, or are willing to explore their bodies and desires. Good lovers treat the fantasies and bodies of their partners with respect. Good people treat everyone’s fantasies and bodies with respect.
Maybe I’ll make my own damn quiz….
Proud to be both a good person and a good fuck,
.jameson.
jameson is a very wholesome looking pervert who is a sex cheerleader by day, super sex cheerleader by night. she majored in women's studies but hates assumed gender differences, loves porn, and was never taught how to think her words are worthless, so obviously she likes to write (and talk and talk and talk, fast).
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Ohhhhh!
Would you make a sex quiz?? That’d be awesome!!!!
SEX QUIZ—YES!!!