I would name it Rectal Foreign Body. It would be a hard rock band. In all seriousness and not so seriousness RFB refers to something in your bum that shouldn’t be there. A lost dildo, banana, vibe, carrot etc. Recently a co-worker of mine had a person call in a panic stating that he had a vibe stuck in his rectum and what should he do? We can’t give out medical advice so she very calmly told him to seek out medical attention. If you have a RFB situation the first step is to reduce the panic that you might be in as this can complicate things further. Depending on the object and level of relaxation it stands a chance of becoming accesible again. Despite what your mother told you..you are NOT SPECIAL. You will not be the first banana up the butt patient the ER has ever seen. You might not be the first banana in the butt patient they have seen that night. I know some folks that have worked in the ER and it is much more common than one would think. A little anesthetic, speculum, and some lube and your done. Of course of course always use toys with flared bases, and plenty of lube. But if for some reason someting gets lost go to the ER. They get it as much as I get the question “What’s your best vibe?” and trust me I get that all the time.

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