Category: 
I don’t read many blogs. Lately I’ve been slightly/psychotically addicted to GoFugYourself, and every once in a while I go to the Good Vibrations company blog (you have no idea what a GV cheerleader I am), but overall, I am a writing snob, and frankly, most blog writing does not impress me. One of the other sex blogs I’ve found that does make me smile, however, is Jamye Waxman’s blog. But I don’t like it when she writes about what I want to, before I do. That sucks.
See, the other day I found myself looking at this creepy website that just kept getting worse and worse. And all I could think (in my dorky little head) was “ooh! I should blog about this! People need to know!”
And then today I check Waxman’s blog and she is all “Um, been there, done that.”
Damn.
I won’t regurgitate what she wrote about, because that’s just bad etiquette and, well, boring. I will let you know that her blog had to do with porn and pancakes, and really, what else do you need to know?
Oh! You need to know who puts on Porn and Pancakes. I have the answer: xxxChurch.com. Yup. I’ll allow you to roam through their website and read their view on porn (which is completely the opposite of my own), but there was one part I just had to share. Had to.
Enjoy:
What is your stand on masturbation?
We have had literally thousands of emails about this particular issue. We have heard all the scenarios. “Well if I think about fruit while I’m masturbating then that is not sin.” Well isn’t that clever. Or…”If I’m giving glory to the Lord while I’m doing it then that can’t be wrong.” Hmmm. Why don’t we just make that part of our Sunday morning services then? Here’s the truth. You want to live a life that is honoring to God, then start pleasing him and stop pleasing yourself. Stop making excuses and get some control over your life. Yes it is tough. Yes we know hormones are raging. However, God is calling us to holiness.
Really? Now? In the US, in this day and age, masturbation is bad? Stop pleasing yourself? As if there’s some sort of spiritual dichotomy that has “Pleasing God” on one side and “Pleasing yourself” on the other? What if you like feeding hungry children and being a choirboy (or whatever those kids are called)? Why is pleasing yourself bad only if it’s by masturbating? As if eating cheesecake and sitting in the hot tub and getting back massages from women with strong hands don’t count as “Pleasing yourself”? And you want me to stop pleasing myself every day with and through masturbation? Wow.
My answer:
Hell No.
Not only does masturbation lower stress and relieve tension, it also helps you find out what you like, what your body responds to. Masturbation lets you get turned on by you. Masturbation could help you feel like a sexy beast. In the words of Paris Hilton, “That’s hot.”
Masturbation, through orgasm, keeps your juices flowing and your sex muscles moving. Masturbation keeps your fingers in shape and your sexual fulfillment in your own hands. These are good things, trust me.
And as far as I’m concerned, if god didn’t want me to masturbate, s/he’d have put my clit in that wierd spot on my back that I can never scratch when it itches; that spot that I always need help reaching. This is where sex would feel good if I wasn’t supposed to give it to myself.
However. My clit is happily within arm’s reach. And so it is mine to diddle.
Eat your pancakes. Watch your porn. Stroke your members.
Be Happy.
I know I will.
.jameson.
