Category: 
Many bits of random and happy…
–I had birthday cake and coffee for breakfast. Yes, my birthday was a week ago, but unlike fancyfancy cakes from expensive stores, white trash FunFetti cake never goes bad. Yum.
–Happy moment supplied by the Sex IQ test on Tickle.com:
J, your Sex IQ is 139!
You scored higher than 99% of other people who have taken our test. Sweet. Sex Nerd strikes again.
–Obama vs. Clinton. Revolutionary, and still I’m scared the two are going to cancel each other out in the primaries. (And wow. Type “hilary clinton” into google, and there are two paid sidebars: one for Hilary, one for Barack. The games have begun.)
–I bought Cunt for my dad’s girlfriend’s teenage daugher. I didn’t know she was going to open it in front of her southern conservative grandparents. They saw the title and quickly confiscated the punkrockfeminist book. Oops. Crazy liberal lesbian step sister strikes again.
–If you are terrible at keeping plants alive, put them in your bathroom. All the misty moistness will do the watering part that you often forget.
–Not sure if my clothes match today. However, my options are limited. See, I got this terrible (awful and evil) rash all over my body. Sexy. When I went to the doctor yesterday, he told me that it’s non-contagious and non-harmful and will most likely last another month or two.
Why my rash is important to you:
A friend (Authori-Ty, actually) recently told me that trips to the hospital are political acts for queer folks. I had never thought about this before, but how true it is. Sitting on top of the blue exam bed, wearing my blue paper shirt, I told Mr. Doctor Man two things:
1. “My girlfriend said I should make an appointment to get this thing checked out.” (Very much in that tone of voice that makes the distinction between “girl who is a friend” and “girl that I touch while she’s naked and sleeping next to me in the bed we share.”)
and
2. “I work at Good Vibrations. That’s another reason why I need to get this shit cleared up. No one really wants to buy sex toys from the chick with a rash all over her neck and arms!”
I can’t tell if I made him uncomfortable or not (he seemed a like he’d be awkward anyway), but I hope I did.
Change is never so easy as to be comfortable and warm, much less predictable and safe. I like that being honest about who we are can change things and people.
Being confident in who you are is the first step, however. I could have never told a doctor about my girlfriend if I was ashamed of her. For the degree of comfort with which I live my life, I must again say: I love San Francisco.
–And now, just for fun, from the book Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask, a question and answer. Enjoy.
“What do female homosexuals do with each other?“
“Like their male counterparts, lesbians are handicapped by having only half the pieces of the anatomical jigsaw puzzle. Just as one penis plus one penis equals nothing, one vagina plus another vagina still equals zero.”
and later in the answer, author David Reuben, M.D., gives a parenthetical tidbit of wisdom:
(This is of course the curse of the homosexual, male or female. No matter how ingenious they are, their sexual practices must always be some sort of imitation of heterosexual intercourse.)
happily wondering what kind of het. sex fisting imitates,
.jameson.
