Something to be proud of
By Allison • Jan 12th, 2007 • Category: BlogA few days ago I received a rather amazing email from one of my old college roomies. We have one of those friendships where we live far apart and don’t call or write as much as we should, but are very much aware that if one of us picked up the phone the other would be around to answer it. For confindentiality purposes, I’ll refer to her as Ann. Ann is a brilliant artist and person and I always love hearing from her. Back in our dorm days I always considered her as one of my most open minded, sex-positive and accepting friends. Neither of us believed in clear cut gender roles or the limits of biology, and constantly explored our relationships with the body, Ann through her video work and me through my writing. Which brings me back to the email…
The first obviously amazing thing about it was the content. The main point of the email was to let me and a handful of other lady friends know that Ann had given herself an orgasm for the first time in her life (she is in her mid 20’s). It was beautiful and not only in the obvious way of celebrating orgasms (which are a pretty great thing to celebrate, don’t get me wrong), but that she wanted to share this news with her female friends. Ann had discovered a new part of her sexuality and had created a new relationship with her body, which I think deserves at least a Hallmark card. In our culture we are taught to believe that this is at best a private matter and more often than not something to be ashamed of more than celebrated. Ann was proud of herself, and she should be. I was proud of her as well and I think she knew that sending this email would make all of us who received it feel proud– not just of her, but of ourselves as women, and for having a friendship where we could celebrate each other’s successes whether they were getting a new job, finding that fab new apt., or having our first solo orgasm.
The second amazing part is that this is a story you usually hear about in reverse. There are many women who are pre-orgasmic and learn to have orgasms through masturbation, but Ann had acheived orgasms with partners before, just not on her own. For me, it is just another reminder about how unique and special our bodies are and how capable they can be of responding in ways we never thought possible.
Personally, I am a huge fan of exploring your own body, what makes it feel good or bad, how the parts work together, and finding new ways to love it. This being said, naturally I am a very big masturbation advocate, but orgasms aside, just learning how you respond to various stimuli only adds layers of appreciation and acceptance to your own body-mind relationship.
But more than anything, I am just thankful to have ladies in my life like Ann who inspire me to put even more of myself out there, to keep exploring and learning and growing, and to always always keep it going.
Allison is the past editor of Good Vibrations Magazine! And, she likes bats.
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I have a friend who when she was little would orgasm whenever she jumped into really cold water, the ocean in particular. She had her first orgasm (by her own hand) in her twenties after wondering for years what was so special about the water. I love ‘Ann’s’ story.