Good Vibrations Magazine

1. Do you carry numbing cream?
No. If you can’t feel what’s going on, you could hurt yourself. And if something feels good, you’d never know because you’d be all numbed out. For pain free anal sex, check out the Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, and for Men. For deep throating advice, check out The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio. Both guides offer more comprehensive, long lasting, and safe solutions than numbing creams and gels. But, as always, your body is yours. Do as you wish.

2. Where’s the spermicide?
We don’t have any! Most chemical spermicide is actually made with a really harsh detergent that was never intended to go into vaginas. The sperm-killing goo irritates the vaginal walls, making a woman more suceptable to tears, and therefore more likely to catch an STI. Not good.

3. Don’t you guys have real handcuffs?
Nope. “Real” handcuffs are most often novelty handcuffs, which most often hurt the hell out of your wrist. Poorly made plastic or metal handcuffs also tighten around the wrist when the bound person pulls, which, again, hurts like hell. We sell restraints that stay the size you intended, are cozy on the inside, and can withstand hours of actual sexyfucking use. Hot, not hurt (well, not hurt where it’s not intended. We have pinwheels and floggers and clamps for the good hurts).

4. How do I make my/his cock bigger?
You don’t. Any thing that says any different is lying to you.

5. What do you use?
Usually I don’t tell customers what I use. Not because I’m embarrassed or ashamed, but because I don’t want my preferences to be taken as my promises. Just because the hot girl at the sextoystore loves the Wahl Coil doesn’t mean you will. Some people hate hearing this. They expect sex toys to work like toothbrushes: either it does it’s job or it don’t. Not the case, my friends, not the case at all.

6. I can’t seem to find the asian porn.
We don’t have any, to be honest. We screen all our movies (and books and toys) before we pick them up. Sadly (so so SO sadly, and infuriating-ly) most asian porn that gets sent to our reviewers is racist, and promotes unfair and unappealing stereotypes. However, if you know of some good stuff, feel free to let us know (please).

7. I need a video for my wife; show me something a woman would like.
Ask your wife what she wants to see. Ask yourself what you want to see. All women are not made the same, and although it seems quite logical to assume that women want romantic, soft, “easy listening” style porn (beause this is what poorly researched sex books and jump-to-conclusions sex columns tell us again and again), such preferences are rarely the case. Ask, experiment, and enjoy.

8. How can I come during sex?
How do you come when you masturbate? Try doing this with your partner. Try doing this in front of your partner. Try a vibrator, vibrating cock rings, touch yourself while you give oral sex, use your hand to move their hand, let yourself relax and not care if you come. This last one is especially important. Let your body feel what it wants to feel, and take some of the pressure of the climax. Don’t think (and don’t think about how you’re not supposed to think) so much during sex.

9. Wait, how come I shouldn’t use flavored lube inside?!Because doing so is asking for a yeast infection. It would be like injecting Kool-Aid into your coochy. External use only, ladies. Again: your body, your choice, your life. Maybe you’re the one woman with a cooch of steel, resistant to all sorts of infections. You know yourself better than I do.

10. What else do you have that’s as strong as the Hitachi?Nothing. Well, there are other plug-in’s that are as strong, but nothing battery operated is anywhere close to the glorious earthquakes of the Hitachi Magic Wand.

…and that’s that.

I hope you’re well on your way to thinking of starting your New Year’s Resolutions,
jameson.