Good Vibrations Magazine

Questions:
(which will be answered in my next blog. Stay tuned.)

1. Do you carry numbing cream?
2. Where’s the spermicide?
3. Don’t you guys have real handcuffs?
4. How do I make my/his cock bigger?
5. What do you use?
6. I can’t seem to find the asian porn.
7. I need a video for my wife; show me something a woman would like.
8. How can I come during sex?
9. Wait, how come I shouldn’t use flavored lube inside?!
10. What else do you have that’s as strong as the Hitachi?

Misconceptions:

1. Vagina size has anything at all to do with body size.
2. Lube is only for people who are broken in some way.
3. Only lesbians use strap-ons.
4. Your girlfriend uses her vibe because she doesn’t like you.
5. Real women come from penetration.
6. Real men can please a woman without sex toys or lube.
7. All vibrators are supposed to go inside.
8. Glass toys are dangerous.
9. Enjoying any form of bdsm makes you a huge pervert.
10. There’s something wrong with being a huge pervert.

Customers:

1. The woman who was shopping for a sex guide for her teenage son. When I showed her what we had, she said “Do any of these assume he’s straight? Because I want him to know that any sexuality is okay, and maybe he doesn’t know what he is yet.”

2. The woman who told the story of a wierd noise coming from her nightstand. Upon hearing the noise and thinking it was a mouse, she summoned her young adult son to shoo it away. He opened the drawer, newspaper in hand, only to find her vibe, bouncing and shaking on it’s own.

3. The man who was sent to the store by his wife who told him, “You always buy the toys for me. I want you to go to Goodvibes and buy something for yourself!”

4. The guy who would seek me out for my expert porn advice, often asking me what was new or what I had most recently seen.

5. The two women who stared in amazement when I explained the difference between what women really like in porn and what women think they’re going to like in porn. The ladies then asked me, “Well, what do you think women who pay attention to things like Oprah would like?” to which I answered, “Do you mean women who read O Magazine, or women who watch her tv show? Because I think they might seek different things in their porn.”

6. The woman with the southern accent who called me dear and sweetheart, and told me how nice and helpful I was, and said “They must make millions offa’ you! Are you the manager? You’re good.”

7. The guy who came in for a remote control vibe to use with his wife. “She’s always so in control, and she wants me to help her relax. She trusts me, and wants me to take over for her sometimes.” I suggested he tie her up and he almost squealed. “Ooh! You’re good.” I smiled.

8. The adorable skinny gay guy who asked little ol’ me to help him pick out a dildo that would get him more comfortable with recieving anal sex. Oh, he was cute.

9. My friends, all of them, who ask me questions because they trust me and know I won’t laugh at them or think they’re silly for what they don’t know or what they do want.

10. Every customer who looks at me with that “Wow. Really? Cool.” face on, and who ask questions and listen to answers, and end up buying things they were intrigued by and not just what they thought was appropriate.

Lastly?
I totally pulled something in my neck when I came during a healthy bit of morning sex. All day I’ve been whining and rubbing my neck, happily remembering how much my girlfriend rocks.
Did you need to know that? Nope. So?

Happy 2007,
jameson.