Category: 
Suggestions for your days; or, an FYI on what not to do around me:
1. Listening to your mp3 enhanced phone in public, without headphones: Rude. Forcing others to take part in your should-be-private awful-music-dance-party is bad, bad manners. Leaving your bumpin’ cell phone on the table at Olive Garden and replaying the same song over and over out loud is even worse. Keep your music to yourself. Thanks.
2. Fast forwarding through porn without asking your partner if they’re done with the scene: Rude. To you, the pussy eating scene might be yawn-eriffic, but to your lovely, it might be just the orgasm ticket. (and, by the way, this never happens in my porn-friendly lesbionic household. Ladyfriend is perfect, by the way).
3. Protesting homosexuality at war casualty funerals: Hella Rude. I suggest someone hack into GodHatesFags.com and change all uses of “hates” to “envies”, and have all the buttons link to either gay porn or pro-choice websites. Interested in countering their protests? Their schedule for hate and intolerance is here.
4. Talking about sexual issues between you and your partner in public: Rude. Like your music, keep this shit to yourself.
5. Talking on your cell phone while being rung up anywhere (at the grocery store, gas station, clothing store, coffeeshop): Very Rude.
6. Not buying lube with your holiday purchase because “Whatever. I hope she doesn’t even use this thing” : Rude.
7. Forcing something up an asshole that’s not ready for it: (suprise!) Rude.
So what is happy, what is blessed and polite and glorious?
Hanging christmas decorations in the bathroom. Writing dirty text messages. Flashing your partner from across the room. Fancy leather jacket sales. Respecting those around you. Smiling. Trying to play pool left handed. Fake moaning while you’re in the passenger seat of your lover’s car. Fake moaning when you’re in the driver’s seat of your own car, alone. Porn.
See? So much good, why the rudeness?
Oh, and if I had to buy a white elephant present from Good Vibes, I’d totally get the Your Lucky Seven kit; it has pretty much everything in it, and if you’re cheap like me, you could totally open the kit up and give seven different people seven different gifts.
Hello!?
Money saving is (so not ever) my middle name!
.jameson.
I think that MORE people should talk about their sex lives in public. Peeps need to talk about sex more openly. Fake moaning in your car is dangerous to the people around you. If you close your eyes and get in an accident you deserve what you get. Mentioning that you’d really love to get your partner home and fuck them in a grocery store never hurt anyone. Fancy leather jacket sales are good? Somehow I doubt that the poor animal that died to make it would agree.
i think jameson meant that talking about sexual issues in public (different from sexy-talk or pda) is rude. you know, like arguing in public or something. i agree that people should talk more about sex in the public sphere, and definately shouldn’t be ashamed to be flirtatious with their loved ones at any time.
fake moaning is the anti-road rage. gets some endorphins going. happy. and perhaps i should have said “vegan leather sale”. wait, no, i’m not a vegan! i like my meat and my leather and my cheese and i even stole a dried up alligator toe from a store in new orleans once. it was a keychain.
hi all. nice blog. its very ineresting article.