From my sex-positive best friend across the country, a little story for all of you:

“so chuck told me while we were in the lab today “i need to get your opinion on something, since you’re a sex-positive san francisco woman.” i was like “about what?” by the way, he often wants to know the sex positive perspective and asks me, and i figure that’ll make you proud.

so he tells me “it’s not appropriate for the lab, but i wanna know what you think appropriate names are for… private things.” and i was just like “omigod you are so weird…” and walked away. later we went to this talk on gene-environment interactions (monkeys and how if they’re of this one genotype and their moms don’t take care of them, they become super aggressive and stuff), and we were waiting around, and i was like “so what’s the question?” and he’s like “well i wanted to know like what sort of terms are okay, what you think is acceptable…”

i of course think he means for pussies or whatever and so i’m like “well you know, i’m a weird person to ask, because my mom even uses a word that most girls get really angry about…” (meaning cunt) and he’s like “wow that’s so cool!” and i’m like “yeah but are you trying to figure out what you should be saying to a girl?” and he’s like “yeah because i mean… breasts just sounds–” and i’m like “WAIT! you’re asking about the sex-positive term for breasts?! vs what?!” and he’s like “wait, were you meaning the C-word about your mom?!”

and then he told me that he generally says breasts, but that sounds too much like chicken (he’s vegan, so somehow that relates) and if he’s really wanting to think about them, he calls them “titties.” and how do i feel about Titties?! so he thought my mom uses the word “titties” and i was like, no girl calls them titties. i call them tits, but most girls call them boobs, if you wanna be respectful, just call them breasts…. and then it was just like “why are you so fucking weird?!” ridiculous. “

Entertaining, no?

Want more terms for parts? Check out Exhibitionism for the Shy by Carol Queen. She lists fun words and explains how to use them. Overall, I reccomend this book to anyone who wants to feel sexy, yet doesn’t really know where to begin. Dr. Queen explains how to love your body, and how to show your partner how much you’re loving their body. I love this book; the sex-positive tone is both empowering and exciting.

And, in case you were wondering, I say boobs.
Unless I’m talking dirty. Then, of course, they’re fucking titties.

and until next time,
.jameson.

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