Ask anyone who works with me. I am a menopausal-woman-magnet. And I LOVE IT!!! If you aren’t even near the age of dealing with the physiological changes of menopause, don’t think you needn’t read on…every woman and person who plans on being sexual with a woman needs to get the lowdown. OK?

There are few things I get more fulfilled by at work other than helping women who are going through menopause (whether it be pre-, peri-, or post-) realize that they can still have the hottest sex life ever! Many of these women find that it isn’t until after menopause that they are having the best sex of their entire life.

First of all, resources…thankfully we carry the book “Better Than I Ever Expected. Straight Talk About Sex Over Sixty” by Joan Price. This book gives great advice on increasing libido, dealing with painful intercourse, and lubrication (just to name a few). There is one part, in particular, where she gives a “recipe”, per se, on lubrication. She recommends applying a layer of a water-based lubricant (Liquid Silk is the brand she mentions, although I’d be more inclined to recommend Pleasure Glide…I’ll tell you more about that later) and then applying a layer of silicone-based lubricant (Eros, to be exact). What this “recipe” does is basically provide a blanket of lubrication. The water-based will be providing your body with the moisture it needs. Pleasureglide, in particular, is more natural, has minimal chemicals (thus less likelilhood to have a negative reaction), and one of the main ingredients is aloe vera, which many women find to be very soothing. If you were to use just a water-based, it will eventually dry out and/or get absorbed into the body. So what’s great about applying a layer of silicone-based lube is that it really holds in the moisture. Silicone-based lubes do not dry out nor do they get absorbed into the body, and very little goes a very long way. The only heads-up about this lube is to not use it with any silicone toys…they will bond together and damage your toy and you’ll be sad.

So lubrication out of the way…let’s move on to getting more blood flow to that vulva of yours. The bottom line when dealing with any pain wherever it may be on your body is that blood flow to that area helps the healing process. It’s so funny how we deal with our genitals in this way that totally disassociates them from the rest of our body. When my back hurts it feels better to rub it, right? So why shouldn’t it be that easy to deal with our genitals in the same manner??

For most women, menopausal or not, we require/desire/need/enjoy external stimulation. This goes ten-fold for women going through the physiological changes of menopause. An easy way to do this is to manually massage your vulva (lube in hand, of course…wetter is better!) and/or use a vibrator. Some women find that the tissues of the vulva become so thin that any sort of touching is painful. Of course, if this is you, consult your doctor for the best way to deal with this. Chances are they will send you to Good Vibrations to get the supplies you need. If external stimulation is still ok with you, but intercourse is still painful, read on…external stimulation in conjunction with penetration can help alleviate this discomfort. Not only does the external massage/vibration increase blood flow to the area, it also makes it so you aren’t solely focusing on penetration alone…a kind-of distraction in a way.

You can also use a vibrator internally to help with the blood flow issue. Although the vaginal walls don’t have the nerve endings to actually feel the vibration (so don’t expect to have some mind-blowing orgasm from just sticking in your vibrator), the movement of the vibration can help kinda keep things alive down there. Some styles we carry that can be helpful for this, especially if you are dealing with vaginismus (tightening of the vaginal opening), are the Lady Luster, G-Swirl, Right Spot, and Turbo Glider Blueberry. All of these toys have a very narrow tip, then gradually increase in size down the length of the toy. If these are still too girthy for you, you may want to consult your doctor about vaginal dilators.

I could go on and on and on on this topic, but I will now turn it over to you, the reader. I am now reviewing a not-yet released copy of “Our Bodies Ourselves: Menopause”, which we will be picking up in the near future, so keep your eyes out. But in the meantime, I will leave you with the wisdom of Joan Price…”Use it or lose it!”

The Good Vibes Menopausal-Magnet,
JoRel

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