My many years working as a nanny taught me a lot about the difficulties that can go along with raising children while also attempting to have a love life. Having children creates new roles for both parents. Rather than being simply man and woman, husband and wife, the new dyads mother and father, parent and child/ren can overwhelm a couple to the point where they barely can remember what it was like before the baby was born.
Even when you are feeling sexual, often exhaustion trumps excitement. Sensual massages that once were relaxing preludes to intimacy suddenly become preludes to nap time. It can be extremely frustrating knowing that you want to be intimate and have sex but are lacking either the time, desire or both!
Most people can’t afford to hire a nanny like I was to help out, but there are a few things you can do to make being a parent and a sexual being slightly less overwhelming.
It is hard to be a good parent if you are unable to make the time to remember who you are as an individual (and a partner if you are in a relationship). Finding the time to do that can be daunting but it is extremely important for your sanity! Try finding other parents who have children around the same age as yours and trade off one evening per night. Even if you don’t use it for having sex, the little bit of time out of mommy/daddy mode can make a huge difference in your life. Also remember that sex doesn’t only have to happen at night and quickies don’t mean that you love each other any less than you did when you had hours to spend together without worrying about the kids.
Having a “date night” once a week (or even once every other week) is ideal if you can swing it. The important part is to allow time for you to be an adult, even if its only a tiny fraction of your busy life. I know that even finding an hour a week can be daunting, but its worth fighting for.

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