I know I said that I’d cover lube stuff in this blog, and I will, but first I must say something else.

Much of my job is spent reassuring people that what they want/need/love/get excited by is healthy, okay, and normal (a word which means everything and nothing at once). I give people permission to enjoy their bodies and desires. The “okay” I recently encountered/said/gave advice on?

“Yes, it’s totally okay to masturbate or have sex to the sounds of your neighbors fucking.” (hot hot hot)

and back to the lubes.

The first questions for lubes are body questions.

1. Are you prone to yeast and bacterial infections? If so, stay away from lubes with glycerine and sugar. Like I said before, sugar feeds yeast which feeds the hell that will consume your vagina.

2. Do you have any allergies or sensitivities? When I ask this quesiton in the store, the lubie-newbies look at me like “if I’ve never used lube, how would I know if I’m sensitive to lube?” And that’s a great question. However. We all know someone who is allergic to everything. If that person is you, and your face itches when you use a facial cleanser that contains any chemicals, your other super-tender parts are probably going to be no exception. Look for all natural lubes, like Sensua Organics, or a lube with few ingredients and few chemcials, like Slippery Stuff or Pleasureglide.

Oddly enough, another lube that’s going to be quite gentle on your body is going to be the least natural one we carry. Silicone lubes do not get absorbed into your body, are the least likely to make you itch, burn, or sting.

And from body concerns, we move onto sex concerns:

1. Do you care what the lube tastes like? Or, are you going to be licking lubed parts and don’t want to offend your tongue with bitterness? Sadly, one of our best-selling lubes (which is also a custie favorite) tastes awful. When I ask the Liquid Silk fans how they do it, they tell me that the bad taste is worth it ’cause the lube works so well. Lubes with glycerine are going to be a little sweeter than the non-glycerine counterparts, but they will also get stickier over time. My favorite, Slippery Stuff Gel, doesn’t really taste like anything. The silicone lubes I mentioned earlier are also tasteless.

(random tip for using water based lubes: when the slick starts to stick, spit on it. or add a little water from a spray bottle you keep on the side of your bed. or keep a cup of water on your nightstand and dip your fingers in the water (all super-seductive-like) and then finger the lube. don’t re-apply, rejuvenate.)

2. What body parts are you trying to slick up? Are you going for vaginal penetration, anal penetration, hand jobs, frottage, oral? Find the right lube for the job. Silicone lubes are good for anything and everything. They have more of an oily texture, though, which is appealing to some, a turn-off to others. Also, some silicone toys are not compatible with silicone lubes, so pay attention to how your sex tools interact.

Thicker gels are better for anal; they don’t dry up or get absorbed as fast as liquids, and you can have more precision in where you place them. Liquids mimic a body’s natural fluids more than the others, an aspect that, for some women, makes the thinner lubes better for vaginal sex. Creams (such as Liquid Silk and Good Lubrications Cream) have a texture that’s more like hand lotion, or, as one customer recently put it, “They feel more like come. To me, that’s more natural.”

Once you get in the lube game, you’ll find out what works best for you. Don’t be suprised if you like one lube for anal, another for masturbating, and another for showersex. I know it can seem like a hassle to buy something like a sampler pack and slowly fuck your way through the different kinds until you find what you like, but it’s worth it.

Keep in mind, this is not all there is to be said about lube. This, my friend, is just the beginning.

enjoy.

.jameson.

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