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Yes, that’s right, 38 years old and reduced to making bad puns. Why, you ask? Why, would you, Chick — of all people, shockingly literate, verbally inclined, redundant without a cause…why sink to that level??!
O.K. maybe you’re not asking but I’ll tell you anyway. Yours truly received in the mail today an adorably wrapped gift from a certain “Store Stylin’” someone in Texas who has decided that if I “am going to be 40 soon” and if I “intend to continue mascarading as a woman” then I need a scent.
A scent which this Angel-Boy was good enough to enclose. A scent with which I know not what to do. Now don’t get me wrong, I am WELL aware of the effect certain scents can have on the masses and it’s not like the scent in question isn’t brillant. It is. (I spritzed the teeniest tiniest bit imaginable onto my sleeve and got this insatiable urge to snuggle into my own wrist so I could live there forever.)
No, it’s more a sense of timing. I’ve never really used a scent and unlike makeup/clothes/men I have no idea when is the appropriate time to drag em out of the ole mothballs and go to town. Part of me thinks, save it for a “special occassion” but really, I have two kids, the occasional “20-something/slacker” on my couch and a f-buddy who I only call upon well, when I HAVE to so, honestly, what constitutes “special”? 35th Birthday? Passed. Master’s Degree? Done. PhD? Not in this lifetime. ANY sort of recognition for all the hard work I’m putting in at the office? Ditto. Ha! (kidding!) I never go “out” anymore, I’m allergic to dating, it would be highly suspicious if I started showing up to my “independent study” time with my brillant professor awash in an alluring new fragrance… so… what…?
Thoughts? suggestions? Is this like brushing my teeth every other morning, should I just go ahead and do it?????
